An open letter to Jessica Simpson

Dear Jess,
(I can call you that because I'm a Jessica too and we Jessicas- all 5478378573billion of us-have a special bond)
You did a really great job of ripping Charles Anastase off before with the Dany.
Charles:

Jessica:

Such a good job, in fact, that your version sold out almost instantly and I ended up spending a nice chunk of change for a used pair on ebay.....shortly before you re-released them and then eventually put them on sale for a mere $50. I'm still a little pissed about that. So to make up for it I'm going to have to insist that you remake these Anastase shoes:

So that I don't have to spend my life's savings on them.
Sincerely,
Jess